I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Randomize
