A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Randomize
