How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
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