yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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