you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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