Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
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