Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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