Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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