well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
