We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
