is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
