hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
