Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I showed him my bush... on skype.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
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He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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