I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
