The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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