How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
