I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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