I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
