So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
