her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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