I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
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