I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
