we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
