so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
dude. I can hear the air.
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