at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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