you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
i came on her dog
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
COCAINE IS GR8
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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