TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Randomize
