who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize