I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
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