you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
