it was like eating out sand paper
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
