Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
