I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I would fuck him just for his dog
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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