I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
