Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
her vagine was all disorganized.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Randomize
