i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
