Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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