watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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