I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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