I wish I could punch you in the face.
Porn is love you can see.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Randomize
