don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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