do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
