I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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