It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Randomize
