office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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