with your own penis?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Sober January is a disaster.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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