Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
