Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
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