i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
