Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
