On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
