whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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