god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
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