I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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