oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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