i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
